


you got me feeling like a psycho

by svtbz



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, seoksoon, soonseok, soonyoung is mean, tagging is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22230406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svtbz/pseuds/svtbz
Summary: seokmin and soonyoung learn that they are destined soulmates after seeing the unmistakable initals of each other’s names etch themselves into their skin, on the tip of their ring finger.but they absolutely despise each other.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Im Nayeon/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 12
Kudos: 106





	1. soonyoung hates seokmin.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first time publishing something on here! i’m not sure how consistent the updating schedule will be but i will try my best not to make y’all wait too long for a new chapter lmao. thanks for reading hehe :3 kudos and comments are much appreciated!! (also nobody tells you how hard tagging things is until you have to do it urself wtf)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soonyoung has some nsfw thoughts near the end of the chapter, so here’s a warning. nothing too bad just a little hot n heavy hehe

soonyoung jumped in his seat, startled as his consciousness returned to him unwillingly.

he glared at what woke him up. wonwoo was smiling largely to show all his teeth, which he only did when he was incredibly happy about something.

"what are you squealing for? you could’ve burst my eardru-"

"soonyoung, shut up and look!"

soonyoung stopped talking as he eyed the finger wonwoo was showing him, which surprisingly wasn’t his middle.

he watched in awe as the faint letters started to become darker, until they were in bold print right in the middle of his finger.

KMG.

soonyoung looked at wonwoo’s smiling face, then at his fingertip. then his face, and his finger. face, fing-

"he probably got mine on his finger too! oh my god soonyoungie, i can’t believe this. i have a soulmate, mingyu is my soulmate!"

soonyoung smiled at his friend’s excitement, swallowing down the small feeling of jealousy that formed in the back of his throat.

"i knew you guys would be soulmates, you were literally head over heels for each other from the moment you met."

soonyoung didn’t know how it worked, he just knew that’s been around since, like, forever. sometime in your young adult life, the initials of your life partner appeared on your wedding ring finger. normally it was someone that you already knew. soonyoung knew things could happen, it could be someone you haven’t met, but he hadn’t heard of it happening often.

so far, most of his friends have found their soulmates. junhui and minghao, seungkwan and hansol, hell even jihoon and his girlfriend nayeon. and now wonwoo.

soonyoung and chan were the only ones in their group who didn’t have their soulmates’ initials on them yet.

chan seem preoccupied with everything but soulmates, he just started college and was too distracted by his classes to think about who his could even be.

soonyoung once thought they might be soulmates, as chan grew up in the same neighborhood as him and his parents politely asked soonyoung to hang out with him so he wouldn’t be lonely. the countless days they spent at the dance studio, at the park, at the movies, or just with each other made them inseparable. it just would have made sense.

now he felt kind of stupid for thinking that. he wasn’t in love with chan. they tried some things once upon a time, but them in an _actual_ relationship just didn’t work. he really just considered him a little brother. sometimes he even called him his son because he prides himself on teaching chan the works of life. 

soonyoung didn’t want to worry about it because worrying never did any good. it wouldn’t bring him his soulmate any faster. he just had to wait. his friends around his age both got their soulmates, so his was surely coming up.

"i need to go see him. god, this is perfect. mingyu...is perfect. we’re different but we understand each other and he makes me feel so happy soon. i am so happy."

soonyoung found himself genuinely smiling at his best friend’s words. the sight of wonwoo feeling so giddy made him turn his situation into something positive: it would all be worth the wait if he was going to be that happy.

"send me the notes, i’ll pay you back. i’m leaving so i can meet mingyu and his economics class is on the other side of campus. see you later!" wonwoo slipped away, hurriedly making his way out of the room to skip the rest of class.

he’s got another thing coming if he thinks soonyoung is actually about to pay attention to what their professor is saying. he’ll just get the notes from doyoung or something. he has a thing for him so one flirty smile will get him the entire audio of the lecture if he timed it right.

just as he was ducking his head into his arms, about to fall back into the blanket of sleep calling his name, his phone started buzzing in his pocket.

soonyoung fished it out, ready to whisper-curse out whoever it was that dared to disturb him.

"what?!" he answered the phone grumpily, not bothering to look at the caller id.

"hey, soonyoung!" it was the one and only moon junhui. "i’m having a lil get together tonight in celebration of...something. anyways you’re coming."

soonyoung groaned. "junnnnnn."

"don’t you ‘jun’ me. there’s literally no reason for you to not come. 

"i’m tired, i wanna sleep." 

soonyoung could hear jun rolling his eyes. "i don’t give a fuck what you are. it’s a small party, only like ten people are gonna be there anyways."

"who’s gonna be there?" soonyoung yawned and stretched in his seat."

he could hear shifting over the phone. jun was probably rolling around on his couch instead of reviewing for his exams. 

"you know, the regulars. chan, me and hao, seungkwan and vernon. and then mingyu invited some of his friends so him, seungcheol, jisoo, jeonghan." his friend paused. " _seokmin_." he continued with a different tone in his voice than before.

soonyoung made a face. of course he would be there.

"stop that."

"stop what?" jun teased. 

"stop using that tone whenever you mention him to me."

"he’s annoying and childish and i don’t wanna be around him." someone turned around in their seat and glared at soonyoung, but he just scowled back. 

there was silence on the other line for a moment, then a giggle.

"mhm....right well anyways he’s gonna be there so. suck it up, see you tonight!" his friend made kissing noises into the receiver and ended the call before soonyoung could protest.

there was no use in trying to argue with his friend. junhui had his mind set on soonyoung coming to the party. he would go to his apartment and drag the man himself if it came down to it.

he didn’t bother with trying to call back and talk to jun anymore. instead he set his phone down and tried to catch the fleeting remains of sleep leaving him before it was time to go.

* * *

soonyoung didn’t spend too long getting dressed. only close friends in their circle were going to be there, so he settled for a simple t-shirt with some english writing he didn’t understand on it, ripped jeans, a leather jacket, doc martens. more or less what he wore everyday.

he walked over to junhui’s (well, junhui and now minghao’s, since they were soulmates and everything) apartment and got there in no time. it was both a curse and a blessing that their places of residence were only ten minutes away from each other, this meant they could see each other practically every day. this also meant that junhui could bother him every day. kind of a win-lose situation.

if mingyu was there, wonwoo would be there too. parties weren’t really his thing but now that he had a soulmate the two would be inseparable. the thought made soonyoung feel only a little bit sick.

he rapped his knuckles on the door, shivering to keep himself warm.

the door swung open and there stood his best friend: already drunk.

"soonyoung! come in, it’s been forever since i last saw you."

"i was literally here yesterday." soonyoung rushed in, squaring his shoulders and patting his cheeks to warm up.

"you know i miss you whenever we’re apart. you’re like my second soulmate. i need to see you every day or i’ll die!"

soonyoung laughed and followed junhui into the living room where the other guests had already gathered.

"you guys know soonyoung." junhui gestures towards him before moving back into the kitchen behind them.

soonyoung waved awkwardly. "hey..."

a chorus of greetings replied to him. jihoon raised his red cup to him, his other hand wrapped around nayeon’s waist who smiled warmly at him. he saw chan sitting on the floor, giving him an attempt at a wave but distracted with making minghao’s speakers work.

on the couch against the wall sat seungcheol and his two boyfriends, jisoo and jeonghan. jeonghan sat beside him while jisoo was in his lap. they all said hi politely with kind smiles.

"hey soonie!" wonwoo’s voice called out uncharacteristically cheery.

there he was, sitting at seungcheol and his boyfriends’ feet, laying against mingyu.

this was a new sight. normally he would be avoiding mingyu’s attempts to be close at all costs.

"hey, woo. mingyu."

mingyu smiled largely. he looked like a cute little puppy. well, a cute big puppy. he was a tall son of a bitch. "hi hyung!" he said.

just as soonyoung was about to follow after junhui, he saw another body in the corner of his eye.

"hey, soonyoung-hyung."

soonyoung audibly groaned. he had hoped he wouldn’t be here. ignoring the disdain building up in his body, he turned back around and plastered on a fake smile, which looked more like a grimace.

"seokmin."

seokmin took a sip from his beer can and smirked. soonyoung wanted to scream. he was so irritating, so so irritating and annoying and obnoxious.

but so fucking hot.

seokmin wore a plain black t-shirt, with the sleeves cuffed to show his biceps. every time he lifted his arm to drink it flexed and soonyoung just knew he was doing it on purpose.

it made no sense for someone to be that attractive and yet so aggravating. seokmin looked like he was sculpted from the hands of god himself, but he had the personality of a spoiled child combined with a mean old man just mad at the world.

"don’t act like you weren’t ignoring me, hyung. i was standing right here."

"i was. and now i will continue to do so." soonyoung deadpanned before heading straight towards the alcohol.

he ignored the snickers aimed at the back of his head just like he ignored how seokmin’s thighs looked in those jeans.

"soonyoung-hyung, when did you get here?" seungkwan asked. he was sitting on the counter, swinging his legs back and forth while watching hansol struggle to choose what bag of chips to open.

"oh, just a few minutes ago. where’s the drinks?"

his friend pointed to the miniature cooler on the counter behind hansol. soonyoung playfully pushed the younger boy and opened it to grab a bottle of soju.

minghao stepped in, holding bags of food in one hand and trying to balance boxes of pizza in the other.

"hey soonyoung! grab this pizza for me will you?"

soonyoung distracted himself from the suffocating atmosphere in the house by setting up food in the kitchen and then helping himself.

he started to let loose after his third bottle. when he first got to college he quickly learned that alcohol made being around people much more tolerable.

"soonyoung-hyung!" minghao called. he looked over to where he was trying to fight off junhui’s hands making their way up his shirt.

"hmm?"

"why the long face? you look constipated."

soonyoung rolled his eyes but heard a snicker. he didn’t even have to look to see who made the sound.

"guys," chan started. "me, soonie-hyung and seokmin-hyung are the only ones who don’t have soulmates. wouldn’t it be funny if-if they were each other’s soulmates?"

the room vibrated with amusement. apparently chan’s thoughts were funny. soonyoung didn’t think so.

"oh my god, that would be hilarious." jihoon laughed loudly.

"yeah yeah, very funny." soonyoung grumbled.

seokmin shifted in his place on the couch. "wow hyung, didn’t know you hated me that much."

"i do."

"hey! be nice!" junhui interrupted, poking his head out the doorway. it seemed like he and minghao were getting further and further out the living room and towards the hallway every time soonyoung looked back at them.

"i don’t even understand why they dislike each other so much." wonwoo piped in. soonyoung glared at him then seokmin.

"because he’s fucking annoying."

"i could say the same about you."

"suck my dick, seokmin."

seokmin laughed heartily. soonyoung wanted to scream.

"i really bother you that much huh?" he was smirking AGAIN. "you know what, i hope we are soulmates. just so i can piss you off every day of your life."

seungcheol stood up abruptly. "okay! why don’t we start cleaning up? it’s getting late.”

everyone dispersed, either collecting their things or cleaning up the trash around them.

"somebody walk soonyoung home, he’s too drunk to do it alone." minghao announced out loud.

"i’ll do it." seokmin and chan said at the same time. soonyoung’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"guys, what the hell? i’m fine!" soonyoung tried to say but he stumbled getting up from his spot on the floor.

"channie, you drove over here right? it’s better if you take him that way he can get out of your hands quicker."

soonyoung tried to protest but his dongsaeng was already pulling him out the door.

"okay, come on hyung. goodbye everyone!"

soonyoung clung to chan until he was buckled in the passenger seat of his beat up car.

"you know, i fucking hate seokmin." he said while they were driving, breaking the short silence.

"i know, hyung."

"he’s the most annoying person on the planet. he’s the most cocky and pretentious and...annoying guy i have ever had the displeasure of knowing!! my life wouldn’t be this stressful if we had never even met."

chan laughed loudly. "you’re so dramatic."

soonyoung crossed his arms with a huff and slouched in his seat.

"look," his dongsaeng started again as they pulled into his apartment complex. "he’s friends with all your friends so he’s gonna be around most of the time. you’re just making it harder for yourself by pretending seokmin is your worst enemy."

"pretending?"

chan side-eyed him. "you know what i mean."

soonyoung furrowed his brow. "i have no idea what you’re talking about."

chan stopped the car in front of his building and finally turned to face him.

"you sure you actually hate him or do you hate the fact that you wanna get in his pants?"

soonyoung’s heart dropped.

"are you crazy?!" he asked, cursing as his body betrayed him and made his cheeks became bright red at the sudden accusation.

"you’re blushing! i knew it! hyung has a crush, hyung has a crush!"

chan sang and giggled like an annoying little sibling. soonyoyng smacked him upside the head.

"shut up, i don’t have a crush on him! that’s so-ew! hell no, no. not on him, that’s disgusting."

chan giggled again. "whatever you say."

soonyoung rolled his eyes and forcefully opened the car door. he had to leave, it was getting a bit too stuffy in here.

"bye hyung!" chan waved cheerfully before driving off. soonyoung waved with his middle finger and smiled when he heard that loud laugh pulling out of the complex.

as soon as he got inside he fell on his bed face first. after a few minutes of laying down, he got up to get undressed. while getting ready for bed, chan’s words swam around in his head, mixed with the haze the alcohol left him.

_you sure you actually hate him or do you hate the fact that you wanna get in his pants?_

soonyoung thought about it while brushing his teeth. that was untrue! it was preposterous! seokmin may be handsome on the outside but on the inside he was full of shit, right to the brim. he knew he hated him.

_you wanna get into his pants?_

soonyoung slowed his brushing.

well. seokmin was fit, he couldn’t lie. he had sharp features, tan skin, pretty nice sized arms and thighs, and his smile was okay when he wasn’t laughing at soonyoung.

getting into his pants...soonyoung couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like. would he be caring and gentle? with soonyoung, probably not. seokmin would probably cage him underneath his own body, being rough on purpose to show how much he hated him. he would grip his arms, legs and waist with his hands like a vice to leave bruises. he would do every single thing to rile soonyoung up and make him beg for it. he would take those pretty hands and wrap them around his throat, squeezing just the right place while-

soonyoung jolted as he realized where his mind was going. he looked down to see his hand gripping the bathroom counter and felt an all too familiar heat pooling in his gut. okay, it was definitely time to go to bed.

he decided to blame his bizarre horny thoughts on how tired he was.

sleep came to him as soon as his head hit the pillow, and as much as he hated to admit it, he welcomed it with seokmin still on his mind.


	2. universe, whatever i did to deserve this, i’m sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the big reveal (plus meanie’s advice, if you could call it that)

the first thing soonyoung felt when he woke was pain.

a sharp, searing pain throbbed through his finger. it felt like poison was entering his bloodstream, taking effect immediately.

soonyoung groaned and looked down at his hand. did he scrape it? was it a nasty papercut? what the hell was making his finger hurt so much?

a gasp left him when he looked.

burning red letters were stitching themselves onto the tip of his ring finger. his vision was blurry with sleep and he blinked several times. this wasn’t real. he was dreaming. maybe he was just hungover and imagining things.

but the more he stared, the more bold the letters became.

when he first looked at them they were red, but now they were small and black. a smile broke out onto his face.

it was his time. he was going to find out who his soulmate was!

the letters would become clearer in the next few seconds. soonyoung’s heart pounded in his ears. who would it be? maybe chungha, the cute girl from his dance class. or the barista who served him his coffee everyday at the cafe, brian? or maybe it was the guy he hooked up with two weeks ago, hyunwoo or whatever his name was. or it could be sooyoung, the girl he had a slight crush on since high school? sooyoung and soonyoung, a power couple. a force to be reckoned with! or maybe-

what if it actually _was_ chan? that would change everything. it’s not like they never tried it, they just didn’t like each other like that. but maybe...nah.

what if his soulmate didn’t like him? soonyoung felt a twinge in his chest at the thought. what if they didn’t want to be with him what would he do with an unwilling soulmate?

he would just see who it was and figure things out from there. take it one step at a time.

soonyoung remembered the answer would be right in front of him now. he took a deep breath, nodded, and looked down.

on the tip of his ring finger were the letters LSM.

LSM...LSM?

who the hell could that even be? soonyoung scrunched his nose as he tried to think.

lee...lee saerom? his ex from freshman year? hell no. lee, lee, lee. lee sangyeon? soonyoung had never really talked to him, but he had to admit the guy was ridiculously sexy. but his initials didn’t match, neither did saerom’s.

who the hell had the initials LSM?

soonyoung frowned and reached over to pick up his phone. the confused expression was still on his face as he dialed seungkwan.

"hey hyung! what’s up?" he said, awfully cheery at 11 am.

"hey," soonyoung started, his voice groggy and a little bit deeper than usual from sleep. "do you know anyone with the initials LSM?"

the other end was quiet.

"hello?" soonyoung said.

"hyung, you can’t be serious."

"i am! i don’t know anyone who has those letters as their initials."

more silence from seungkwan, which was unusual.

“hello?”

"soonyoung, seokmin!"

soonyoung blinked. "...what."

"seokmin hyung, lee is his last name! his full name is lee seokmin! why do you need to know anyw-wait."

soonyoung dropped his phone. he stared at his finger, rubbed his eyes and looked at it again. no way. this couldn’t be.

"no no no. god please no." he wailed as the letters remained on his fingers. he ignored seungkwan’s questions and laughter on the phone and pulled at his hair.

this couldn’t be happening. he couldn’t be his...soonyoung couldn’t even say, well, think it.

his heart sank as the realization hit him. soonyoung’s destined other half for the rest of his life was the most unbearable person on the planet. he couldn’t even spend a few hours in the same room as him without wanting to punch him in his handsome face.

this was truly the worst thing to ever happen to him. he couldn’t believe this. just his fucking luck. something he’s been looking forward to since he was a teenager, ruined.

 _universe,_ soonyoung thought. _whatever i did to deserve, i’m so sorry._

"hyung? hellooo?" seungkwan was still on the phone giggling. 

soonyoung snatched his phone from his pillow. "i’ll call you back." he grumbled before hanging up.

what the fuck was he supposed to do now? 

soonyoung stopped. if he had seokmin’s initials on his finger, that meant....

seokmin would see that soonyoung was his soulmate as well. 

soonyoung could’ve cried out of frustration. he couldn’t form a coherent thought, his mind was going a mile a minute. he opened his friends’ group chat, typing before his brain could tell him what to say.

who’s free rn

it’s important

soonyoung waited anxiously for a response. he decided to get out of bed and throw some clothes on to be ready for whoever said they could talk with him. he was in the middle of pulling on his jeans when he heard the unmistakable ping from his phone.

 **wonu** :i’m out with mingyu rn, but you can come if you need to talk

soonyoung groaned. he didn’t want to talk to both of them about his predicament. he just knew being around them, an actual happy couple, would make his mood even worse. but they were still his friends, and he still needed some advice. 

okay, can we meet 

at the cafe?

 **wonu** : sure, see you in 10

soonyoung practically leaped off his bed and grabbed his keys. he left his cozy apartment while pulling on his shoe and dashed towards the elevator. he had questions, and he needed the answers now or he might just explode from overthinking.

* * *

wonwoo burst out laughing when soonyoung told him. soonyoung’s face felt hot and he whined with embarrassment. he scowled when he noticed mingyu placing his hand over his boyfriend’s, his mouth twitching.

"i’m-i’m sorry. it’s not funny. whew." he finally said when he got himself together. soonyoung rolled his eyes as he watched wonwoo wipe at his eyes, still snickering a little. 

"are you done?"

"yes, yes. okay." wonwoo looked at soonyoung.

"so seokmin is your soulmate. what else is there to talk about?"

soonyoung’s leg bounced underneath the table. "well like, why? why did it hurt when his initals appeared? how does this even work! why is he out of all people my soulmate?"

wonwoo sighed. "we have no control over who our soulmates are, soonyoung. i don’t know why he’s yours, but he is. it’s what the universe decided for the both of you."

soonyoung slumped in his chair. "well, why did it fell like i was getting stabbed in the finger! you didn’t tell me it would hurt.”

"it didn’t hurt for me. it just felt like a tingling sensation, not pain."

"maybe," mingyu chimed in. "maybe it’s because you and seokmin have a bad relationship currently."

the two stared at the younger man.

"think about it!" mingyu sat up. “none of us have ever felt pain when our soulmates’ initials showed up, because, coincidentally, we already liked them before we knew we were supposed to be together. soonyoung-hyung and seokmin are always fighting. i don’t think they’ve ever had a civil conversation before. they hate each other, and we know that interactions affect the bond. so, it hurt for them because they haven’t had any positive interactions with each other."

soonyoung hated how that made sense. they were the only "couple" (if you could call them that) that never liked each other before learning they were destined partners. seungcheol and his boyfriends, minghao and jun, nayeon and jihoon were all head over heels for each other before they knew.

must be nice. 

"you might just be right." wonwoo smiled, pecking mingyu on the cheek. soonyoung swore his stomach started churning.

"have you talked to him?"

soonyoung’s head snapped towards his friends. "what?"

wonwoo blinked at him. "he had to have seen your initials on him too. if you know, he knows. so you haven’t."

soonyoung crossed his arms. even thinking about talking to seokmin made his heart feel weird. he didn’t want to talk to him because as soon as he did, it would become real. he couldn’t deny it any longer.

"hyung, you have to talk to him. he’s in this just as much as you are." mingyu said softly. soonyoung hated how persuasive he could be sometimes. 

"is there any way to get rid of a soulmate?" 

the couple both stared at him. 

"soon, what are you talking about." wonwoo only used that tone with him when he thought soonyoung was saying something stupid.

the man licked his lips. "well i mean," he leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. wonwoo’s eyes shifted down to them but quickly made eye contact with soonyoung. he swallowed. "what if there was some sort of way to break the bond?"

"you know that isn’t possible." mingyu laughed, cocking his head to the side.

"but nobody’s ever tried it before, so we don’t know.” soonyoung pointed out. wonwoo reached forward and held his hands.

"soonyoung. the only way to break a soulmate bond is through death. you know this.”

soonyoung didn’t respond, drumming his fingers on the side of his cup.

"oh for fuck’s sake, stop being so dramatic hyung!" mingyu suddenly said. both he and wonwoo stared at him in shock. it wasn’t like mingyu to raise his voice, even when he was upset.

mingyu sighed. "look. i know you don’t like seokmin and i know you didn’t ask for this, but neither did he. you acting like a brat is only going to make things worse. you have to talk to him. there’s no changing this, so suck it up."

soonyoung was quiet.

"you know he’s right, soon." wonwoo said softly. 

"fuck!" the man groaned, flingung himself back into the chair. "alright! fine!"

soonyoung fished his phone out and scrolled through his contacts until he found him. his thumb hovered over the name and he looked up to see his friends watching him like a hawk. with another sigh, he pressed the contact and pressed it to his ear.

he didn’t even have to wait for a ring before seokmin answered.

"....hey." he said, sounding breathless.

soonyoung gulped. "we need to talk." 


	3. the rest of my life, without you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seokmin and soonyoung talk (it doesn’t go so well)

soonyoung wanted to go home.

wonwoo and mingyu had ditched him because he should talk to seokmin alone and they had important errands to run (which really meant they were going to go home and go at it like rabbits, soonyoung learned from poor chan. he hasn’t gotten over five hours of sleep in the past three days.)

so here he was, at the same cafe he had been at for hours, waiting for seokmin to show up. 

the longer he waited, the more he wanted to get up and leave. he could avoid seokmin right? he didn’t have to confront him. they could just go on about their lives like nothing ever happened, and soonyoung would just ignore the pain in his heart he felt when he was away from him or if he hooked up with anyone else. dying from lack of interaction with your soulmate didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world.

"hyung?" 

soonyoung was pulled from his own thoughts by a voice, which of course belonged to none other than lee seokmin.

his soulmate.

when soonyoung looked up and finally saw seokmin he could’ve cried real tears.

he looked so good. the worst part about it was the fact that he didn’t even try to look good. he wore a plain outfit and if anything, his face showed exhaustion. it was rubbed raw, bags dug low beneath his eyes. his hair was messy, like he was constantly running his fingers through it. it honestly looked like he hadn’t slept in a day or two.

but still, he managed to look so fucking good.

soonyoung’s heart felt weird. it felt like it was beating too fast and close to stopping. his hands were clammy and his tongue was dry. he couldn’t do this.

but he had to.

"hey." he said blandly, blinking up at the younger.

seokmin stared at him, and he stared back.

"okay, um." seokmin started as he sat down across from soonyoung. "i...i don’t know what to say."

soonyoung’s awkwardness was replaced by irritation quickly. 

"of course you don’t, asshole. nobody would in this situation. i don’t either!" 

seokmin blinked, and soonyoung sighed.

"i’m sorry." he whispered. his face grew hot and he stared at his hands to avoid facing any more embarrassment.

the man across from him still didn’t respond. soonyoung looked up and furrowed his brows.

"what is wrong with you?"

seokmin flinched. "nothing, just...i don’t think you’ve ever apologized for being mean before."

soonyoung rolled his eyes. "yeah well, we’re soulmates now so i can’t keep being a dick."

"you’re right, as much i hate to admit it. god," soonyoung scowled again but his face fell as he watched seokmin run a hand through his hair. 

he could feel all the blood rush straight from his heart to his dick. this was humiliating. they’ve been soulmates for a few hours and he’s gone from hating seokmin’s guts to getting half hard just from watching him fix his hair.

"so um," seokmin spoke up. "what are we gonna do now?"

soonyoung felt dizzy. every thing seokmin did pissed him off but also made him feel warm all over, like he was hugging him. 

"how the hell-i mean, i talked to mingyu and wonwoo. they didn’t help much, but we can’t change it. this" he motioned between the two of them, "is permanent. the only way we can break the bond is if one of us dies. and...we can’t avoid each other either. the lack of interactions will kill us." he slouched in his seat. 

he heard the younger man across from him scoff. "you really hate me huh? what have i ever done to make you despise me this much?" 

soonyoung didn’t look at him. the truth was, seokmin didn’t do anything to him. soonyoung just remembers disliking him for as long as he’s met minghao and wonwoo. their mutual friends made it that he saw seokmin more than he liked, and he just grew angrier every time he saw him. the man was _too_ perfect. too kind, too helpful, too gorgeous. it pissed soonyoung off. 

"you know, you never tried to initiate any sort of friendship with me either! every time i was around, you would greet everyone but me. all you would give me is a weird look on your face." 

seokmin was staring at him (again) with what looked like disbelief. another thing about him soonyoung hated: he was the most talkative man in the world, until he didn’t understand something. he wouldn’t ask a question or speak. seokmin would just look around like a stupid lost puppy. and it was so sickeningly cute it filled soonyoung with a feeling he didn’t like, so he labeled it as disdain. 

"that’s because every time we made eye contact you looked like you wanted to break my nose." seokmin explained monotonously. 

"oh my god!" soonyoung cried out and covered his face with his hands, scrubbing his eyes. "i can’t fucking believe this! i have to be around you every day out of all people, it had to be you? i-" soonyoung paused. he squinted his eyes.

"you did something.” 

"what the hell are you talking about." seokmin crossed his arms over his chest. even though he was wearing a flannel shirt soonyoung could clearly see the outline of his biceps. he dug his fingernails into his thigh to distract himself, but pointed his other finger at seokmin accusingly. 

"yesterday at minghao and jun’s, we were fighting and you said you hoped you were my soulmate so you could piss me off every day of my life. what did you do?!" 

he was red in the face now, and so was seokmin. he must’ve been growing loud because people were starting to look over at them, but he really couldn’t care.

"i didn’t do anything, _hyung_." seokmin said with venom is his tone. "no matter how much i joke about it, there’s no way in HELL i would want to make us soulmates. i would never want to spend the rest of my life with you willingly."

his words hurt soonyoung, even though they shouldn’t. he should be glad! they were on the same page: they both didn’t want to be bonded with each other. 

but he still felt like crying, like his heart was being squeezed to push out all his emotions.

soonyoung stood up and slammed his hands on the table, his chair flying back behind him. 

"fuck you seokmin! stay the fuck away from me, i don’t care if i die, death would be better than spending the rest of my life miserably with you!" 

he stormed off before the other man could respond, sharp pain stinging his heart but he ignored it just as he ignored the tears blurring his vision as he made his way home. 


	4. i want.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they make up!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is smut in this chapter! next chapter after this is the sweet, happy ending we’ve all been waiting for :D (also the amount of s alliteration in this chapter is insane)

it had been two weeks since the whole soulmate ordeal. two weeks since he last spoke to seokmin, and soonyoung felt like he was actually withering away.

it started with just a small ache in his chest, but he could ignore that, and that he did.

by the second week soonyoung had started feeling worse. as in it felt like he was a small dark hole that he couldn’t escape from. it felt like someone was performing open heart surgery on him while he was wide awake.

it was unbearable.

soonyoung had cried every day during the second week, and he only went to class monday. he had barely eaten and barely slept the entire time. soonyoung couldn’t _function_ , so he just stayed at his apartment, in his bed, marinating in the pain he felt.

by the end of the week his friends had had enough. word spread fast in their circle, so everyone knew why he was acting the way he was. they allowed it for the first few days but called again and again to get through to him. soonyoung wondered if they were yelling at seokmin this much.

seokmin. soonyoung thought about him every hour of the day. what was he doing? was he in as much pain as soonyoung was? did he think about soonyoung constantly? did he even regret what he said or what had happened between them?

he had to have been feeling like shit too. they hadn’t talked or even seen each other since that day. soonyoung hoped he was hurting like him, but the thought of seokmin suffering just made him cry harder sometimes. 

but it was friday, and soonyoung was in his bed staring blankly at his tv. he wasn’t paying attention, he just needed something to distract him. he was in too much pain to drown himself in alcohol, and jerking off to burn away the ache of desire, the longing and the want for his....soulmate only helped so much until his arm started hurting. 

the sound of the door opening snapped him out of his daze. for a second he thought he was getting robbed, and he didn’t even care. he only sighed and dropped his head back into his pillow when he saw it was chan, jihoon and nayeon. 

"soonyoung!” jihoon said loudly. soonyoung blinked at the tv. 

"hyung?" chan tried but he still didn’t move. 

nayeon walked over to the side of the bed and looked down. soonyoung was quite lifeless.

"oh for god’s sake, soonyoung? we’re here to talk honey, get up. come on."

she pulled the layered blankets back, but soonyoung just whined and curled into a ball. nayeon looked over to the other men.

"hey, a little help here?"

the boys helped her sit soonyoung up and made him look them in the eyes.

"hyung, please talk to us. why are you doing this?" chan pouted, trying his best to use the softness his friend had for him to his advantage. 

soonyoung sighed and rubbed his face angrily. "because he hates me chan!" he looked up at the three of them with wet eyes. "he hates me."

"oh honey," nayeon enveloped him in a hug as he sniffed, trying his best not to cry in front of them. "he doesn’t hate you."

"yes he does!" soonyoung cried, his voice muffled from being squished against nayeon’s body. "and i hate him!”

"soon, this is ridiculous. you avoiding him forever isn’t going to solve anything! you have to try to make the relationship work." jihoon said sternly.

the man shook his head. "i tried. i tried to talk to him about it but it just ended how it always does! we’re not meant to be together. the universe just...messed up."

chan gave him a look. "did you actually listen to what he had to say or did you just get pissed every time he opened his mouth?”

soonyoung was quiet and chan kissed his teeth.

"hyung what is wrong with you?! why can’t you accept that you like him and stop attacking him for it? when you do that it will makes this whole thing so much easier, for the both of you. it’s clear he feel the same!"

"chan i...i just can’t accept it. he’s too perfect. it’s just too unrealistic. it’s too good to be true, i have to hate him because i...i..."

"you love him." nayeon said softly, petting his head. soonyoung groaned.

"soonyoung, look at me." jihoon said.

soonyoung forced himself to keep his eyes on his friend.

"you wouldn’t have his initials on your finger, and he wouldn’t have yours if this wasn’t meant to be. and you’re crazy about him, everyone can see it. you’ve been waiting for this very moment since forever, yet you’re not taking it and it’s just ridiculous! don’t turn this away because you’re scared."

soonyoung wrung his hands together. his friends grilling him while he was nesting in his own despair wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it was what he needed. their words seeped through the cracks of the walls he set up. 

"soonyoungie, he’s heartbroken." nayeon chimed in, her voice said soft, and soonyoung’s head shot up so fast his neck hurt. 

she nodded at his reaction. "he’s only staying away because he thought it was what you wanted, but this is tearing him apart. he wants _you_ , soonyoung. he wants this to work." she smiled. 

"....really?" he asked with a small voice.

"oh my god, yes!" chan laughed. "so go to him and fix this!"

soonyoung blinked. his eyes went to nayeon, chan, and jihoon’s faces down to the letters on his ring finger.

he jumped up off the bed and landed shakily on his feet. 

"oh my god, okay. i need to talk to him. i need to talk to him?" he looked to his friends for assurance. they nodded. "i need to talk to him! should i call?"

"no, dumbass, just go! don’t waste time, go to your love!" chan exclaimed quite dramatically. soonyoung scoffed but pulled on a fresh pair of clothes and ran his hands through his hair. after a thumbs up from nayeon, a nod from her boyfriend, and some excited clapping from chan, soonyoung was leaving. but not without sticking his head back in his room to give all three of them a grateful smile.

* * *

the blonde was in the elevator, his foot tapping against the wall with nerves as he made his way up to seokmin’s floor. more anxious thoughts flooded his brain when the door opened, and soonyoung almost let them close but his body made the decision for him.

a few minutes later he was in front of the younger’s door. his heart pounded in his ears, and he felt like he might just have a heart attack right then and there. 

it took several more minutes for soonyoung to gather his courage and knock on the door. his pale knuckles didn’t even rap against the wood before it opened, and there he stood.

seokmin.

soonyoung’s breath caught in his throat when they immediately made eye contact. seokmin was so shocked, to the point where looked almost scared. like soonyoung was holding a gun right in front of him. 

he also looked just as bad as soonyoung.

bags under his eyes to show the lack if sleep and where they had been rubbed raw. shoulders slouched. hair matted against his forehead. a frown pulling down his entire face that soonyoung hated, he hated to see that frown so much because it wasn’t like any of the other looks seokmin would give him.

seokmin would smirk at soonyoung, grin teasingly or fake scowl but he had never truly frowned at him.

until now.

they both broke the silence that had stretched longer than soonyoung realized.

"soonyoung?”

"i-"

they both paused, and timidly stared at each other again.

this time seokmin was waiting for soonyoung to say something. he looked down at him with a steel gaze, but soonyoung saw in his eyes what he failed to mask.

the hurt. 

the exact same hurt soonyoung had been feeling. 

it was there from the beginning. he caused it, and never saw. 

and soonyoung couldn’t take it anymore. 

before he could think about the action, soonyoung flung himself at the man in front of him.

seokmin wrapped his arms around his waist tightly on instinct. soonyoung buried his face in his neck, trembling. the younger stood frozen, with his soulmate’s limbs wrapped around him like a needy child, begging for attention.

"i’m sorry," soonyoung said, gasping a bit as he pulled his face back slightly to speak into the space where seokmin’s neck met his collar. "i’m sorry i-i didn’t mean it, i didn’t mean any of it. i’m so sorry please," he finally made eye contact with seokmin. his vision was blurred with unshed tears and his voice wavered. "i didn’t mean it."

seokmin swallowed, and looked down at him. he could feel soonyoung’s heart racing as their chests pressed together. his hands clutching his waist and the blonde’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. they were close, they were touching. it almost felt like a dream, soonyoung in his arms begging for forgiveness.

"you....you didn’t?" he asked, voice uncharacteristically small.

soonyoung shook his head quickly. "no, no seokmin i....i was scared, i was scared of this, and-and you and...i ran away from it. i pushed you away but i don’t want it to be like that. i want this to work." 

he swore it looked like someone restore the life to the younger, the way he lit up, 

"i want to be with you." he smiled, and seokmin smiled back.

they both laughed wetly, recognizing the same feeling of relief washing over them. like the sun finally showed after it had been raining for days on end. 

and seokmin didn’t hesitate. he kissed soonyoung, he kissed soonyoung hard but gently at the same time, like soonyoung was fragile glass. full of emotion but slow paced, and he waited, he waited for soonyoung to process before he kissed him back. 

a soft sigh left him. it felt so, so good to kiss seokmin. it felt right, as if the universe was sighed with him, because it’s been waiting for this too.

soonyoung was quite literally melting. his fingers tightened in the hair on seokmin’s nape to ground him, but he could barely think about anything besides seokmin’s lips, and seokmin’s tongue swiping across his bottom lip before slipping into his mouth. 

he pulled back to lower himself, hands sliding down soonyoung’s ass to his thighs. a squeak left the latter when he felt himself being lifted. seokmin grinned, holding soonyoung up by putting his hands underneath his knees, then turning around and carrying him to his room.

soonyoung was dropped on the bed but he couldn’t wait. he pulled seokmin down on top of him, lips connecting instantly. he moaned as he felt seokmin’s tongue enter his mouth again to pick up right where they left off. 

hands ran up soonyoung’s legs to spread them. they pushed his jacket off and cupped his face before seokmin pulled back completely. soonyoung whined but was quieted as he watched the younger pull his ribbed tank off, and shake his head to remove the hair from his eyes.

 _fuck_.

dream shirtless seokmin compared nothing to real-life shirtless seokmin. he wasn’t super muscular, but defined. firm pecs, and a toned flat stomach. soonyoung definitely wasn’t complaining.

he wasted no time in pulling off his own sweater and throwing it at some far corner in the room. seokmin pounced on him as soon as it was off, kissing him breathless and slowly trailing fingers down his torso.

soonyoung whimpered when they brushed against his clothed dick, straining against the front of his joggers already fully hard. the lack of physical contact these past few weeks had really taken a toll on him.

seokmin looked at him through his eyelashes, and there was that damn smirk.

soonyoung missed it.

fingertips were replaced with a warm palm, which he bucked into instinctively. the gasp that escaped him was muffled by those lips again. soonyoung was lightheaded but he would die before he stopped kissing seokmin.

"oh-" he moaned softly at the contact on his dick. his face grew warm with embarrassment but seokmin didn’t notice because he was too busy sucking at his skin. 

normally, soonyoung would whine about hickeys and leaving visible marks with anyone else. but this was seokmin, and soonyoung truly couldn’t find it in him to care.

besides, the thought of someone seeing him with seokmin and noticing the marks on his skin made his cock twitch painfully. 

he lifted his hips into seokmin’s hands repeatedly. 

"seokmin, please." he begged. the man on top of him pulled back. 

soonyoung’s hands ran down his chest and squeezed his sided. "don’t stop." he whispered, looking at his soulmate through his eyelashes.

seokmin groaned. his own hands flew to the waistband of soonyoung’s pants.

"can i?"

he nodded, and they were pulled off, but seokmin made sure to keep his boxers on.

"wha-" but the younger shushed him.

"i want us to...spend some more time together, before we go all the way. is that alright with you?" 

soonyoung smiled shyly. "yeah. that’s okay."

seokmin blushed, but didn’t allow soonyoung to tease him for it. he pulled back and stepped off the bed to take off his own sweatpants. soonyoung watched him crawl back onto the bed and settle between his legs. 

he kissed him again. it was sweet and soft, but soonyoung felt like it was the complete opposite as their hips were mere inches apart. 

seokmin lowered his gaze and watched carefully as he laid his full weight on the older. soonyoung gasped, cursing as he felt seokmin’s much bigger cock rut against him one, two, three times before he stopped.

soonyoung was seriously going to die if seokmin kept teasing him like this. 

his hand was held out in front of him expectantly. soonyoung looked at it, then his soulmate’s face.

"spit."

soonyoung blushed as realization hit him. he obeyed, gathering as much saliva as he could to spit in seokmin’s hand. the latter did the same, using his dry hand to pull down soonyoung’s underwear, then his.

soonyoung’s breath hitched as he watched him hold them both in his hand. he felt dizzy when he started stroking them.

"oh fuck." he panted, looking up at the ceiling. seokmin appeared right in front of him again. soonyoung could feel himself blushing, so he pulled him down and kissed him for the thousandth time.

it was seokmin who moaned into his mouth this time, and a spark of pride flickered in soonyoung’s chest. it quickly disappeared as his hand sped up and the pleasure built in their lower halves. soonyoung tried to kiss him back, but he felt so fucking good. they panted into each others’ mouths and rocked into seokmin’s tight fist.

"seokmin!" soonyoung flung his head back onto the bed and moaned loudly. seokmin kissed down his body, taking one of his nipples into his mouth. soonyoung keened, back arching to let seokmin just take and take.

soonyoung was embarrassed at how fast he was getting close. hearing seokmin groan and curse in his ear, looking down and seeing his hand move over the heads of their cocks, it was too much.

"ah, ah seokmin!" he threw an arm over his eyes and cried. seokmin chuckled at how loud he was being but he didn’t care. "i’m-i’m gonna-oh _fuck."_

seokmin kissed him messily, groaning against soonyoung’s cries.

"come. come for me, hyung."

and that was all it took for soonyoung to come all over seokmin’s hand, fucking up into his fist with soft cries of his name on his tongue.

soonyoung didn’t register it, but seokmin came as soon as he did. the younger man trembled on top of him, panting. 

without looking up, he reached down onto the floor and picked up his shirt. gently, he wiped soonyoung down after cleaning his hand, then the shirt was thrown once again.

soonyoung held onto seokmin when he rolled over to lay down next to him. he looked so cute, tucked into soonyoung’s side, eyes closed, focusing on his breathing to calm down.

soonyoung inhaled sharply. "that was probably the best orgasm i’ve ever had in my entire life." 

seokmin giggled next to him and his heart lurched. ”it was just a handjob, but thank you for the ego booster."

he giggled again, and soonyoung just rolled his eyes before looking at him.

"you know i...."

the man met his gaze, and he swallowed like his tongue had suddenly dried up. 

"...i don’t hate you, seokmin. you know that?"

seokmin pulled himself up to look soonyoung directly in the eye.

"i love you too, soonyoung." 

a grin broke out on his face, and soonyoung couldn’t help but his kiss him again.


	5. happy forever after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sweet happy ending that has been long overdue, my apologies 😅

it’s morning now. soonyoung didn’t realize he wasted the day away at seokmin’s apartment, in his bed, in his space. 

he woke feeling refreshed, like he was reborn a new person with no flaws or worries or mistakes. a clean slate.

before a thought could form, before his brain could register where he was, a smile stretched his face as he felt a long arm wrap around his waist.

he pulled seokmin closer to him to kiss his arm. moving up to his shoulder, then his chin, his cheeks, his nose, his mole.

a soft angelic giggle made him stop.

"good morning to you too." 

god his voice, deep and raspy from slumber, also woke the butterflies in soonyoung’s stomach. and his _face_. soonyoung couldn’t even look at him without feeling like his heart was going to jump out of his chest and ran away. 

that’s what love does, he guessed.

instead of speaking, he kisses seokmin’s lips, which the younger appreciates. the kiss is drawn out, soonyoung puts all his feelings into it because he can’t say them. he can’t tell seokmin because it’s too much for him. if he says what he’s feeling, he won’t be able to stop talking.

but seokmin understands. he understands so much, he cups soonyoung’s face and hold him there so he can kiss back and tell him, too.

he covers soonyoung with himself, holding his face and kissing him, sharing the heat of his body. he hasn’t pulled back at all since they started, and soonyoung felt like he would genuinely die if he did.

the younger wipes a tear that was making its way down soonyoung’s temple. he swipes his thumb around soonyoung’s cheek in circles, holding his head delicately like soonyoung could slip from his fingers at any moment. 

and he _shakes_. soonyoung trembles underneath seokmin, holding his hand against his cheek to keep him there. a soft whine leaves him, and he inhales sharply. 

"i-" he starts, voice small and weak. soonyoung turns his face away from seokmin and shakes his head. "i..."

seokmin holds his face with both hands and forces him to look so he can kiss his lips again, soft and tenderly this time. each time their lips connect soonyoung’s fingers dig into the skin of seokmin’s hand but he doesn’t move.

"i know hyung. it’s okay. i know." he whispers, and soonyoung calms. 

seokmin knows, he doesn’t have to say it because he already can hear.

and he's saying it too.

* * *

seokmin knocks on the door, then pulls back to look at soonyoung. he smiles and squeezes the hand in his hold. it makes the anxiety inside him dissipate slowly. 

"are you nervous?” he said giggling, and soonyoung scowled with no actual malice behind the expression. 

“‘course not.”

seokmin, his _boyfriend_ , his _heart_ , his **soulmate,** smiled and pulled him in close to take his breath away and kiss him. all the nerves he failed to hide and all the anxiety melted away with the forever comforting feeling of the younger’s lips on his own. 

it seemed that ever since they came to terms with their feelings they couldn’t get enough on each other. 

they were interrupted (much to soonyoung’s dismay) by the door they were standing in front of swinging open. jeonghan’s soft smile greeted them.

”hey guys!” the look on his face at their closeness would have humored soonyoung if he wasn’t too busy trying to hide his embarrassment from being caught by tucking his face into seokmin’s neck, who seemed to find the situation funny. his eyes cast down towards their linked hands and he smirked knowingly before stepping aside to let them in.

”it was only a matter of time.” soonyoung thought he heard him whisper behind their backs. 

in the living room were all their friends, laughing and drinking as they always did with their significant others right beside them.

”hey soonyoungie! hey seokmin!" seungkwan called from the floor, trying not to make his surprise at their entrance obvious.

”hey gu-well i’ll be damned!” junhui laughed loudly, motioning to their hands. minghao hit him upside the head.

”congratulations guys. i’m happy things worked out between you too.” he said with a genuine smile.

”yeah, we all are!” jun added cheekily.

soonyoung blushed, looking to see seokmin staring right back at him. 

“thanks guys...we are too.”

he broke their gaze to roll his eyes at nayeon’s squeals and clapping heard from the corner of the room.

“shua-hyung, you owe me 13,000 won!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to every single person who read this, it means so much to me! it took me a really long time to figure out how i wanted this story to end but i made it short and sweet, and i’m actually content with it. i hope this satisfies everyone, if not, i’m sorry! expect more works from me bc i am always ALWAYS writing hehe. check out svt’s comeback, support the black lives matter movement, black businesses and creators (including me 🤠), and please do not stop fighting for change. thank uuuuu <3


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